I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. (Don’t all good ideas happen there?) I had just tried on a dress for an upcoming wedding, and as I gazed at my figure, I felt the old familiar self-hatred creep in. Mostly for my stomach. I realized, that while most other areas of my ED recovery were solid, my self-hatred for my stomach was high and still existed. Why? Because my unconscious coping mechanism, until now, was ignoring it and pretending it wasn’t there. Because I have so much shame attached to my stomach. By society’s standards, it’s not just imperfect, it’s not desireable.
If you think about it, isn’t ignoring someone a horrible thing to do to anybody? And if we are, in the interest of self-love, going to treat our bodies with the same compassion as we do to other human beings, isn’t ignoring a body part just bad for its self-esteem? Why not radically change the way we think about a certain body part (even if we don’t believe it at first) and send gigantic amounts of self-love towards it instead?
So that’s what I am doing.
I am launching the “30 Day Tummy Love Project” – a project designed to increase my awareness, cognitions, and compassion towards my tummy. I will:
- blog once a day (I will! I will!) about the self-love activity I did that day for my tummy.
- engage in strengthening activities for my core muscles (note: in the means of taking care of it, NOT in the means of shrinking it. My recovery has always included healthy exercise)
- read “tummy love” literature
- engage in meditations which allow me more presence with my body/tummy
- and other inpiring shit I haven’t thought of yet.
- Check if I lose inches or pounds
- aspire to 6 pack abs (like Peyton Manning once said, no one can really get those)
- compare my tummy to Kate Moss’s, or someone else’s
- Change my diet (except, perhaps ADD in healthy food in addition to the christmas cookies I consume during this month.
And my last plea is, PLEASE, join me and love your body or body part you’ve ignored because of years of mistreatment. And, if you have any suggestions for self-love activities, PLEASE share them.
Love to all of you!
(Image provided by Google Images).