Welcome to Recovery Tip Tuesday, a weekly update about a skill that’s worked for me in ED recovery.*
Spirituality. Why is everyone so afraid of it? Maybe because we’ve seen those religious extremists who’ve taken it way too far. Or maybe it’s because the word “God” (Dun-dun-DAH) is involved in it. Or maybe it’s because self-help groups which claim spirituality as its base struck us as cult-like. Either way, I personally find it unfortunate that some shy away from this, because your spirituality or God could be a can of tomato soup.
What do I mean? Well, let me give you an example. Right after treatment, I worked a job in Harvard Square at an upscale boutique. I took the T home daily, and got off at Davis Square. I had been feeling pretty lonely, and fairly lost, because of my recent necessity to quit my regular job to attend treatment. One day, I had gotten off the T, and all of a sudden, time seemed to slow down. I noticed everyone around me, walking, running home, all doing and participating in the same thing. All humans, just trying to achieve the same simple goals, of making enough money to survive or thrive and to be able to enjoy life with their loved ones.
And I, suddenly, felt connected. Because I was doing the same thing: I was part of a whole.
And that’s spirituality to me. That feeling of connectedness that hits you unexpectedly, rendering you ever so present, aware, mindful, and humble.
And connectedness kills eating disorders. EDs thrive in isolation.
That day was groundbreaking to me, because it reminded me I would never be alone, even if I was alone. Who knows why it happened – maybe it was some higher power, or maybe, because I was finally feeding my body, my mind was able to be totally and beautifully present.
And I now attempt to utilize it daily. I’m not perfect, but I try. When I try to make the right choices about food, I remind myself I’m not alone. That if others who went before me could trust that eating full meals everyday worked and didn’t make me fat, so could I. I remind myself that if I need to stop a behavior, I can call someone or pray. Yes, that scary word, pray. (To me, prayer is as simple as a dialectical skill, a pause between a feeling and an action, so it’s not that scary anymore.)
What is your form of spirituality, if you have one? Is it connecting to nature? Is it healthy exercise? What other recovery strategies have worked for you?
* What worked for me may not work for you! So proceed at your own risk.
(Image provided by adaliaconfidenceandsuccessblog.)