Happy Friday, everyone!
I thought I’d share some “blissful” moments in my ED recovery as part of Blissful Body Fridays. I was thinking back to some turning points in my recovery, and this one stood out to me today:
The day I started exercising for my mind, and not for the way my body looked.
THAT was a miracle, ladies and gentlemen, and if I could make this shift, you can too.
Let me explain a little about my process, and where I was at that point in my life.
It was about two years ago or so; I had moved to Winthrop in an apartment by myself, on the beach. I had just moved out of the Somerville apartment I had
terrorized occupied for six years prior. By this time, I had given up a bunch of old, self-defeating habits and was feeling pretty good. I was pretty busy in the evenings, so I realized the only time I could work out was in the mornings. I had never done that before because I hadn’t taken care of myself enough to feel ok about running at 6am.
So I tried it. And I loved it.
1. My workout was done by 6:30, and I had the rest of the day to do what I wanted;
2. Any anxiety that I had about the upcoming day was erased by the rush of endorphins;
3. I felt powerful for the rest of the day.
And on days that I wouldn’t workout or wait until the evening, I would notice that my mood would be a little more quiet, my thoughts a little more racy.
(That’s why it’s so easy to become addicted to exercise! You become addicted to the “high” of it. It’s a tricky balance I still have to examine.)
So that’s when I realized I was working out for my mind, and not the number of my waistline.
Which was a pretty big effing deal for me.
Exercise became a lot more fun for me when I started doing it for my mind. Before, it seemed tedious, something I had to “get through”.
And I believe I have been able to exercise long-term because I do it for my mind. When I did it for my body, I did it in 3 month long increments (or so), and then would give it up for another six.
So, what about you? Has exercise been helpful or hurtful in your body image/ED recovery/journey?
*Proceed at your own risk. What works for me may not work for you.